Forget elephants – if there’s a pregnant lady in the room she’s going to attract attention! There’s just something about a baby bump that seems to invite crazy comments from friends, family and complete strangers.
For example, you’re in the supermarket and a guy in the dairy aisle asks if you’re having triplets (you’re not). Or you’re a day away from going on maternity leave and a colleague asks if you’re going to have another one. You know, after this one. Geez, give a girl a break!
Crazy things people say
To share in some more classic moments, we asked the Mum’s Grapevine Facebook community for the craziest (and funniest) things people said while you were pregnant.
Here are 47 of our ‘favourites’!
- “I was wearing a green dress and one lady said to me I looked like a giant pea.”
- “I was at a pub with my partner … (not drinking alcohol) and one guy turned and said ‘you should be at home in bed, shouldn’t you? Pregnant people don’t go out’.”
- “You gonna keep it?”
- “When pregnant with my twins I was asked if I was going to have them together. No thought I’d have one & go back & have second baby later on during the week.”
- “‘What are you having???’ My husband’s favourite reply was, ‘A cat’.”
- “My old grandma told my friend Holly that she looked like a snake who swallowed a mouse. Hmmm.”
- “When finding out where I was booked to give birth, [they said], ‘Oh that’s where that midwife sat on a lady’s belly because the baby wasn’t coming out [and] the baby died.’ Seriously??”
- “My [mother-in-law] saying, ‘I wish you wouldn’t breastfeed, bottles are better for other people in the family, I want a chance to bond with the baby too’.”
- “Will you give your dog away?”
- “Are you sure? You don’t look pregnant.”
- “Is the father of this baby the same father as the others?’ As we all stood there as a family.”
- “Oh, I didn’t realise you were pregnant, I thought you were just overweight.”
- “My husband’s uncle, upon seeing me pregnant at Christmas, told me I’d been eating too many pumpkin seeds. I said if I’d known that was all I had to do, we wouldn’t have wasted money on IVF.”
- “My son asked my friend how her baby got in there and did she eat it? He was four lol.”
- “Did you get bad hangovers when you were pregnant, as mine are horrendous!”
- “Don’t worry, when baby’s born you’ll lose the weight.”
- “What did you have?”‘ Lol, I was still pregnant, with three weeks to go.”
- “Look!!! It’s Makka Pakka!!!’ Said by a three-year-old, and to be fair I was wearing a grey jumper …”
- “Don’t have any more children, dear. The world is a horrible place.”
- “If you reach your hands above your head, the umbilical cord will snap.”
- “You can tell you’re having a girl. When you’re pregnant with a girl, you just blow up all over.”
- “You’re having a boy … I can tell by the way your boobs are hanging.”
- “Can we use your breast milk? My daughter has an earache and it helps earaches heal.”
- “How long have you been trying?”
- “I was asked if I did it ‘a special way’ to conceive twins. With a straight face, I told her that I jumped from the wardrobe into the ceiling fan … did three spins and landed on top.”
- “It’s not surprising that you’re having a big baby, you’re not exactly small yourself.”
- “Someone gave me a book when pregnant that said women get morning sickness because they have too much time to feel sorry for themselves. It said go to work or keep busy so you have no time to be sick. It was written by a female who evidently had no clue.”
- “I was late for my gender scan… I called ahead and let them know I was stuck in traffic. When I got to the scan place, they were taking me into the scan room and asked “was it an accident?” I was in shock and said “it wasn’t planned but I wouldn’t say an accident”. She said “oh I’m sorry, I meant the traffic.”
- “Someone in Woolies told me that they could tell I was having a girl because girls steal your looks.”
- “I was told to scrub my nipples with a nail brush to toughen them up for breastfeeding.”
- “A preppy asked me if I was having a puppy or a kitten???”
- “Why would you want to have more children when the one you have has special needs?” Excuse me.“
- “That if I didn’t try for a VBAC I wasn’t really giving birth.“
- “You sure it’s not a phantom pregnancy or the baby mustn’t be growing.”
- “During extreme all-day morning sickness, I was so dehydrated so my Doctor said “when you feel like you need to vomit, just don’t – hold it in.”
- “You look small. There’s something wrong with your baby (from someone I had never met before)”
- “My OB said if I didn’t eat so much I wouldn’t get reflux and he didn’t feel the need to prescribe meds because ‘it wasn’t that bad’.”
- “I was at a buffet next to a man with a tummy as big as mine. He looked at me and said that is big. So I said at least mine will be gone soon. Not sure about yours though. He did laugh.”
- “My husband would always say “I know how you feel.”
- Make sure he has protection from now on don’t wanna be getting pregnant while already pregnant
- “What did that watermelon ever do to you?”
- “Don’t itch your arms or the baby will end up with a birthmark.”
- “I work at a small hospital and one of the doctors told me it was a wise choice not to deliver at my workplace because it would be awkward for all my colleagues if they lost my baby.”
- “Are you going to go through with the pregnancy? But you’re not married?”
- “You’ve already got a boy and girl why are you having another one?“
Want to read more?
Join the conversation over on our Facebook page and see what other crazy things people say to pregnant women … click below!